I am struggling……..
Here I am, sitting in the place I call my “soul home”, and that I’ve always found so much comfort in, and I…..AM…….struggling…..
Since the day we arrived, it has been the land of fast forward, nothing like the inner peace I have found over the past few years, and I am struggling to maintain it.
Admittedly, I actually have a pretty good strike rate considering the amount of time I’ve been back. I found a villa after being here for only 4 days, spent the last few weeks getting the girls into school (a logistical nightmare, but need to just be grateful that I actually got them in!), and am ticking off all the minor details as we go along. From the outside looking in, it might appear to be mission accomplished, and off we go to climb the next peak.
Problem is I am running out of steam to climb.
I am a glass half full type of girl. I live to see beauty in the smallest details and have gratitude for all the gifts I have been given in this life, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle at times, and this time in particular, I am going through pockets of feeling exactly the opposite. I feel those moments of resentment thinking “Why couldn’t I just have stayed where I was?”, or “I can’t be bothered to tick any more boxes, dot any more i’s or cross any more t’s!”.
I know it’s all about process, and the notion of the journey being more important than the destination. I totally get that…….
And the amount of support we have here in Dubai is unbelievable! People are always offering to help, we have been treated to numerous dinners, welcoming hospitality, and the comfort of knowing that “family” is just around the bend.
I guess this post is a bit of a release for me and a cleansing of old grievances as I struggle to find my way into this chaotic energy again. The Supermoon is full and fat today with a huge magnetic pull affecting us all in how we behave and react, and it’s a good time to “let go” as we move into the next phase of our own personal lives and as a collective.
Later on, I’m going to make a list………and it will be full of all the things that are tying me down at the moment (frustrations, grievances, resentments). I’m gonna make a list, and then I’m gonna set fire to it…..burn, baby burn! I feel a need for release in order to feel “lighter” and more at ease in this sea of Dubai chaos.
The energy of this city captivates me, it is part of what continually draws me here, but like anything, there is an adjustment to come back into balance.
And if there’s anything I’d love to do right now, it would be to have the free nature and spirit that my children so easily share. Watching them live “in the moment” nearly 24/7 is truly amazing…
There’s something simply liberating about watching your little ones jump on a hotel bed without a care in the world, giggling and rolling around like two little puppies! What better therapy could a girl ask for?
And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to every single one of us fighting our way through each day to adapt. Kids love stability and when they sense my uneasiness, it’s a lot harder to keep them on track.
Thankfully there are some great activities in Dubai to keep them occupied and it was such great therapy for all of us to take an afternoon at The Jam Jar and watch the kids creative juices flow.
It was a kaleidoscope of color which the girls throughly enjoyed!
Check out the paint all over Ruby…..she decided it would make a great delicacy and proceeded to eat as much of it as she could……dip the brush…paint a bit…..then “Hmmm, think I’ll have a little lick of the brush….” Nice one Rubes!
When I look at these photo’s I feel so much joy, and I think it’s down to the fact that there is just so much vibrant color and that my girls are content each being themselves and painting what they “feel”.
Color has such a profound effect us on each and every day, and it wasn’t until recently when I took the Level 1 Aura Soma course that this became even clearer than ever to me.
Have a look at these babies…….introducing the Aura Soma Equilibrium bottles….
Aren’t they magnificent?
Aura Soma is a color care system using living energies (think plant, crystals and color energies) that is used to help the client bring the best out of them through a consultation and using the products. I have been using them for a few months now and I am hooked.
In fact, I would go as far to say that if I didn’t have this powerful tool with me now in Dubai, I would be struggling even more to cope from day to day.
Aura Soma has helped me to realize my true potential, and to help navigate through the roadblocks that continually pop up before me. The equilibrium bottles are chosen by “you”, and the motto of Aura Soma states “You are the colors you choose” which is pretty amazing in that it’s a self selective and non-intrusive therapy. The client has total control over what they choose and then it’s up to the consultant to guide them once they bottles have been chosen.
You’ll be hearing more about Aura Soma in the future both from me, and around the world. It’s a fast growing tool in the natural and healing world (although it doesn’t claim to be a healer, it’s pretty incredible stuff!), and I’ve decided to incorporate it into my “Find Your Nektar” shoots to help establish mood and to give the client a bit more clarity in their gifts they possess.
I couldn’t write this post without acknowledging all of the support and love that I have felt since coming “home”. I am truly blessed to have some magnificent people in my life who have been nothing short of amazing and helpful. A particularly big thanks goes to my gorgeous friend Aidy for her open home, warm hospitality, never ending support, and love through this whole “balancing act” and settling in process.
With every word I write I feel that little bit stronger and reassured within myself that everything is going to plan and is happening “exactly as it should be”. It feels good to acknowledge my moments of uneasiness, in order that I can regroup, rebalance and move forward. Whatever situation you find yourself in this week, try and take note of your feelings. Whenever you get that sense of uneasiness, try shifting your mind to the complete opposite mindset. Sit with it for a moment, amplify it, and then try to find middle ground between those 2 emotions. It’s a good way to “calibrate” your own inner calm, which I’m sure we can all agree is something we can all use from time to time!
Have a wonderful week beautiful people!!