Out There

It feels good to be back, to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.

I love writing, it is the essence that flows through me like a river when I allow it to, and unfortunately, I have denied myself that pleasure for too long.  My book “Hungry”-Feed Your Soul is doing amazingly well, and I suppose in a way, it was such a process getting that work “out there”, that in some ways, I needed to retreat from the world of writing for a little while.  I have recently been approached to be a co-author along with 32 other amazing spiritual teachers, authors, and thought leaders for a series called “Adventures in Manifesting”.  It is an exciting time for me in terms of getting my work out there, and having my voice be heard, but at the same time, there has been something stopping me in terms of moving forward and just allowing my writing to flow.

This blog has always been my little haven of respite, a safe place to go and exercise my mind, heart, and soul.  It’s a place to connect with those who choose to enter this space, and to share what I’ve learned, and what I’m still yearning to learn.

I think what happens is that I end up thinking that every piece that I write needs to be a masterpiece, needs to be perfect in every way.  And that’s what stops MOST of us from creating….the fear of inadequacy, or fear that no one will engage with what we’ve created.

We need to see it from a viewpoint of “better out than in”.   All that juiciness is no good holed up inside our human casings!  The spirit needs to flow and be free, and to be housed among skin and bone with no place to roam and express itself, the essence of our creativity gets stuck in a rut.

As I write this, it becomes apparent to me that there is one key theme that revolves around getting our work “out there”, and that is the theme of vulnerability.  One of my favorite authors Brene Brown is an expert and speaker on the topic of vulnerability.  Her 2010 talk on Tedx has over 9,000,000 views to date, and it is the rawness and authenticity of this talk that has captivated people worldwide.

Putting yourself “out there” inevitably creates a sense of vulnerability, and a fear that you won’t be seen, when ultimately that’s your end goal.  You write a book, of course you want people to read it.  You put your heart and soul into a painting, you want it to be admired. You armor yourself up for a day of parenting, and hope that someone notices that you’re doing a good job.  You wear your heart on your sleeve…..you get my drift.

You extend yourself, and wait for a connection..

For as Brene puts it, there is a fear of disconnection more than anything that stops us from moving forward.  The mask we wear from day to day is like solid armor, showing no signs of weakness, and a sense of not wanting to let anyone in.

For fear of not being seen.

For fear of being isolated.

For fear of not being able to fill the shoes of those who put themselves “out there” before us.

It takes a certain level of courage to forge forward in the direction of your dreams.  Getting up every morning requires enough courage in itself to meet whatever it is the world has to offer, and we should all praise ourselves for the incredible navigating that we do each and every day to be seen, to be heard, to be LOVED in this world.

When I ask myself “Why am I writing this, who would want to read this anyway?”, I stop and ask the question “Why NOT?”.  Aren’t we living in a continuous stream and flow of conversation, unique ideas, and experiences that CONNECT us to the core of who we really are?

By putting our work “out there”, we take a gamble, this is true, but isn’t life just one big game after all?  How can you pass GO And collect $200 if you haven’t even rolled the dice?

I am so grateful for a series of events that have happened to me recently to fire up my creativity and really connect me to what my purpose is.  I am here to share, and to LOVE. It’s a pretty simple job, just as long as I don’t allow my ego to complicate things.

To sum it up in my own words…

Vulnerability is putting your cards on the table, not knowing what the rules are or what the outcome will be.  There is a courage the springs forth, pushing you, knowing that not matter WHAT the outcome, you played in the game of LIFE.

I say yes to the game of life, with all it’s fears of

disconnection,

unworthiness,

and failure to be seen.

I say YES to the game of life and know that endless joy comes from having the courage to do so.

“The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Seven

There was a moment in my life where I felt the need to run……

Stuck to a cold hospital bed, in a lonely room in Abu Dhabi, legs numb from the aftereffects of my C-section, and as my baby was wheeled down to ICU, I sat trembling in fear.

Wanting to run and hide from the news that was lingering in my room like fine smoke.  Nurses huddled in corners, whispers and smiling glances passed my way as the statement “Down Syndrome” passed slowly from their lips as if caught in time.

(A memory of those moments recounted here and here.)

Over these past seven years it has occurred to me that there are pivotal moments we ALL encounter where we feel we could just RUN…….run away from it all, hide in the hills and never look back.  You hear people talk of fleeting moments, in a magical and mystical way.

“Don’t take for granted what you’ve got”……”These are fleeting moments, cherish them, they’ll be gone before you know it…”.

In my case in this instant, it was more of a fleeing moment I was thinking about!

How can I rewind the clock?  Maybe I should have had those prenatal tests and then I wouldn’t be in this situation?  Please, oh please God, take me away……

Of course this was not the veneer I decided to display to those who came in contact with me, but rather that of a seasoned warrior.

“We are blessed, she is a gift, there’s a reason we were chosen as her parents….” were the words that seamlessly slipped from my mouth as though I had rehearsed them for the biggest performance I was to play in my life.

In reality, I felt isolated, alone, and scared as hell for what was to come….

Now, before I go any further, I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  Despite all these feelings, there was NO doubt whatsoever that I had an intense and DEEP love for this beautiful child.  That is the part that was so confusing and put me through such a deep internal struggle.

I felt LOVE…….and yet I wanted to RUN…….

I just recently participated in a 72km relay (with 4 other very competent runners!) through the wadi’s and mountains in Oman (a race called Wadi Bih).  I can honestly say that this was probably the scene I envisioned for myself when having that moment of wanting to run and hide.  Off in the mountains, where no one could find me….somewhere that I could find the strength to want to to run BACK and meet things head on.

My philosophy in life has always been this..

“Things happen for a reason.  We are always where we need to be in any given time.  Life takes us where we are meant to go.”

The same rings true for the birth of my beautiful daughter Ruby.  She came into our lives for a reason, and that reason is so utterly simple, yet beautiful.

She came to show me how to LOVE both myself, others, and the things I cannot control around me. I could write this post floundering on and on about how amazing and wonderful and beautiful every moment I have experienced with her in seven years has been.

And it HAS been a beautiful road, full of twists and turns, bumps, flat tires, super adrenaline filled racing, and smooth sailing. It has been the road I was meant to travel, with Ruby as my copilot, steering me back on the track when I venture off it.

But it has also been a time of internal struggle, frustration, and pain.  The realization that she rarely gets invited to play dates (I can count them on one hand in seven years), the fact that upon our return to Dubai that most schools here don’t see my daughter as an “equal” or as someone who can contribute to their establishment despite the fact that she has achieved “Outstanding Reading” just recently (to the school that decided to take a chance on her, thank you!), or the fact that we live in an Alcatraz like state with bolts, locks, and boundary walls around us for Ruby’s safety (she’s a runner!).

Through every hurdle, and every struggle, I have felt the need to run.  I would much rather bury my head in the sand and pass the baton on to someone else at times.  And the reason I share this so candidly with you is because I know that YOU TOO also have times where life hands you a challenge, and you feel it is all too much to carry.  I want to connect with you and let you know that you’re not alone, and that your struggle is not less, not more, nor insignificant.

We all process things in different ways.  What we have done for years is shoved everything under the carpet, hidden things behind closet doors, and for this we have suffered.  It’s time to be able to air your closets, release the dust that clings to the corners and set yourself free.

I love my daughter more than words can describe.  She is ALL heart and soul and carries an intense energy of LOVE unparalleled by no one I’ve ever met.

She is the love magnet, and clings lovingly to everyone who comes into contact with her.  She gives freely, openly and unselfishly of herself, and for seven years I have been privileged to be her mother.

I have always maintained that raising Ruby will be the same as raising any of my other girls.  The rules will be the same, there is no special treatment, and that the achievements will overshadow the difficulties.

I believe we have achieved the balance for the most part, but there is that consideration that things with Ruby are slightly different, but it’s where we choose to focus our attention that matters.

Ruby is Ruby and thank God for that!  Looking back over these seven years I am just so proud of how far she has come.  To achieve outstanding reading (the top level) in a mainstream school is one thing, but to personally witness the amount of love she has projected onto others is the pinnacle of her success.

There isn’t a moment where she’s not giving freely of her beautiful spirit and never-ending fountain of LOVE…..

Please join me a for a celebration of my favorite recent images of Ruby.  Happy Birthday to the most beautiful spirit….my teacher, daughter, spark of life, and LOVE.

Happy Seventh Birthday Ruby!!!

And on a final note….

“The mirror within the mirror reveals it’s reflection in all it’s truth, and with that I never go hungry again…..”-Nektarism

(An excerpt from the book I recently wrote that was a gift from Ruby. A realization that we are all mirrors of truth to one another and upon knowing this, we are free to express who we really are.  Thank you Ruby for yet another beautiful gift of awakening.)

Vertigo-Three Reasons to Embrace Your Inner Scaredy Cat

I remember a time when I was a kid, and we used to get really excited on a Friday night when we could go and rent a heap of movies at the local video store.  There are 6 children in our family, and now I can see with absolute understanding how my mother was excited too….this might actually mean that with 6 kids lined up to watch a video, she might actually get 5 minutes to go to the toilet by herself!!

Of course, with me being the eldest there were times when the little ones were in bed that I would get to watch a scary movie or two with my parents.

Scary movies have  that love/hate thing going on about them.  You really don’t want to see the really scary bits, but you can’t resist peaking out between your fingers as your hands cover your face in sheer horror!  You peak, and then you wish you hadn’t…….

I can honestly say I had countless nights lying awake swearing I saw Freddy Kreuger in the shadows outside my room, being almost CERTAIN that Chuckie was pulling himself up the stairs from my brother’s toy box, or that Jason was just around the corner with that annoying, yet spine chilling breathing he did.

This to me, was not exactly the most productive type of FEAR, but it was fear all the same.

Fear seems to be among the trendiest topics to blog, talk, write, and quote about at the moment.  It is a word that slips easily from our mouths as we claim to “kill that beast”, “slay the dragon”, and “conquer all”.

It is the stagnant pool we all love to swim in.  We bask in it, soak in all it’s crippling capacity, and cling to it with our co-dependency.

But here’s where I say “Get a grip”, and by “Get a grip”, I mean take that ball of fear in whatever area of your life seems the scariest to conquer.

Then get scared…and I mean really scared.  Let the fear get the best of you, let it grow inside you until you feel lightheaded, and nauseated.  Let the sweat trickle down your forehead, and your stomach do a few loops on spin cycle.

Why? You ask??

Because it is this intense feeling of fear, of standing on the ledge looking down into the nothingness,

Or going up the creek without a paddle (not so scary until you encounter something like this like we did on our recent trip to Ethiopia!!!) that kickstarts something deep within you.

This is your FUEL…..

Out of an intense experience comes something of great value, clarity and comfort. To have that feeling of being so uncomfortable where your entire universe seems to have shifted off balance is really something quite special.

That’s where the magic happens!

And this, my friend, is why standing in the face of FEAR can only be a good thing!

1. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.

How many times did I hear that saying when I was a kid? And rightly so, it does stand to reason that if you can weather the storm,  the storm won’t weather you!

The more you stand up and face whatever it is that makes your knees tremble, the more accustomed you get to handing it with ease….and you become your own warrior of inner peace!

2. Fear doesn’t FLOW.

Fear stops you dead in your tracks.  There is no continuum, and particularly not when you reach that state of vertigo, where all your bodily functions seem to have a mind of their own.  Frozen in time, your body and mind adjust to the conditions it’s been handed.

It’s fight or flight, sink or swim.

And how exactly is that a good thing?

Well……..one of our biggest problems that we face today is the inability to slow down, to take stock of what matters, or to observe where it is we stand.

Fear does a great job of taking the bull by the horns, making you stand at attention and making a decision of how the hell you’re going to get out of a given situation, and fast!

As I said, we don’t generally LIKE to feel uncomfortable.

Fear is a vehicle.  It stops us dead in our tracks until we see the light from that oncoming train fast approaching.  And let’s hope that when we see that light, we make a MOVE!

3. It creates vulnerability, and that’s a beautiful thing…

Where there is a whiff of fear, either one of two things can happen externally….

People will prey on your vulnerability, or they will genuinely want to help.

Cultivating vulnerability brings with it a sense of responsibility to rise above it all, and when coupled with a desire to overcome, it breeds great courage.

This last point is very personal to me as I just completed a full day public speaking seminar.  When it comes to writing, I feel I have a good articulation of what I need to say.

When it comes to speaking, I feel I have a lot of work to do, and it was with this seminar that this became even more apparent for me.  I trembled inside, and felt frustration with the fact that I didn’t feel I was projecting myself as I wanted to be seen.  My magnificence had crawled into a corner somewhere and was not interested in making a special guest appearance.

I stood in front of the group and felt a deep vulnerability I have not felt for some time.  This both crippled and liberated me.  As my throat closed over with a hoarse voice, my legs trembled, and at one point, I broke down into tears, I felt fully exposed.

There was a sense of frustration, but as I come away from the experience there is also a sense of connection with myself and the audience in knowing that my vulnerability was there for a purpose.  This vulnerability has now become the fuel that propels me forward to acknowledge my weaknesses, to grow from them, and to push the boundaries even further.

To say it gave me a different perspective (as is the case with extreme fear!) would be an honest statement.

What have you done recently that has had you trembling in your tracks?

How do you feel you cope with fear? Do you face up to it, or are you likely to run and hide?

For more inspiration, check out a copy of my book “Hungry” Feed Your Soul which highlights the beauty in all that surrounds us in all it’s simplicity.

 

LIfe is Like a Box of Chocolates…

The hardest part about starting this blog post has been the title.

There are posts that I write for me (most of them actually!), that serve as a good dose of therapy, where I can be myself, say what I want, and hopefully take something away each time I write.  It’s almost like a treat….like a gooey caramel centre, or gobs of sticky crimson syrup that dribble out from the dark, creamy casing that keeps the cherry honest.

I guess you’ve probably noticed that I like chocolate….and well, to say I like it, is a massive understatement!

I have stashes, backup stashes, excuses (I just need to nip out to the kitchen to grab a drink….of water….yeah…..and throw some morsels of ebony lusciousness down the hatch!), and even a plan of how to concoct some chocolatey goodness should there ever be a shortage. (A girl’s gotta be prepared!!).

And then there are times when I write with hopes that that information and feeling I’m putting out there will make a difference.  I want people to share in the emotional roller coaster to inspire them to break out from their everyday comfort zones.

Because being comfortable is safe, and easy.

Being comfortable is what we’ve done for centuries (don’t change it, it might not work, or might be…..gasp….uncomfortable!!).

Being comfortable puts us in a position where we are in the driver’s seat.  We feel we’re in control, and let’s face it, most of us love to know what’s happening one minute to the next!

And so, I’d like to share with you an experience I had while traveling in Vietnam with my family over the New Year……

As I recently turned 40, I put it out there that I didn’t want to receive any gifts, and that I would like to collect money to help a Special Needs orphanage that I had connected with in Saigon.  A turn of events would mean that I was unable to connect with that same orphanage once I reached Vietnam, but as the Universe put everything into place, I was led to just the right place, that needed just what I and everyone who had contributed had to offer.

As I walked down the picturesque streets of HoiAn, Vietnam, a young man painting a traditional hat caught my eye….

He got up briefly, and I noticed that he had a bit of a limp as he ushered me inside to take a look at the workshop.  Inside I met an amazing lady named Karen Leonard from Australia.  Karen has lived in Vietnam for over 11 years, and after making friends with some street kids when she first visited, she formed a bond that would have her create a humanitarian organization that aims to help those who are disabled by giving them the skills to create beautiful handicrafts that she then sells through her workshop located in  the picturesque town of HoiAn.

I felt an instant connection with Karen and immediately inquired if she knew of any Special Needs facilities in HoiAn that needed help as I was finding it difficult to connect with the orphanage in Saigon and was keen to distribute the money to those that really needed it.  She informed me that most people are keen to come and see orphanages in Vietnam, but that it is the older children/adults that really get left behind as there is little to no support for them once they turn 16.  She mentioned that she had just started working with a homeless shelter for people with Special Needs and that they had very little.  I felt instantly that this was the place that we were meant to go.  So many people had been generous in Dubai, and I knew that they would not be let down by the fact that I could not contact the original intended destination, and that the plan had been altered.  Life’s like that sometimes……you just never know what you’re going to get (ahem…..cue Forrest Gump….).

It was decided that the money would be used to buy a much needed wheelchair, and that some additional money would be used to purchase boxes of simple craft supplies to provide a bit of joy for  these gorgeous souls who really have nothing other than each other to occupy their time.  Some crayons, coloring books, foam puzzles, and glue would bring them some joy, and I was really privileged to be able to deliver the goods myself alongside Karen and her amazing staff!

The only way to REALLY get around Vietnam is by motorbike, and so on the bikes we hopped (pictured here is the lovely Karen Leonard!), and off we went!

Karen had mentioned to me that it would be best not to bring the children as it could be quite disturbing at the shelter.  As we had met a few days before the visit and discussed how things would go, I carried a little fear deep within myself of what was to come.  As many of you know, my daughter Ruby has Down Syndrome, and our journey together has been one of joy, pain, gratitude, and a constant hunger for anything that can improve Ruby’s lifestyle and learning experiences.  I feel we have been so very blessed in our journey with Rubes, despite all the challenges we have faced so far.  We have lived comfortably, with access to many great facilities and support of loved ones around us.  We are blessed, and we are abundant in the many blessings that come to us to help her progress.

I couldn’t help but harbor that feeling of fear as I envisioned poor living standards, pain, sorrow, and the prospect that there may even be some cases of encountering people that I may not have been able to face without breaking down emotionally.  I thought about it again and again, and in my belly was a hurricane of fear and anxiety, yet I had an intense feeling propelling me forward.  I had collected the money and things seemed to fit so perfectly.  Karen was trustworthy and had an established organization, and the shelter was in need of some basic supplies.  I cannot describe to you the feeling that pushed me forward, and once on the bike, I felt a sense of calm come over me.

“Find beauty where you don’t expect it to be, see beyond the exterior, feel beneath the surface…..”

I cannot describe to you the sense of calmness, serenity, and peace I felt upon meeting all of the amazing people at the homeless shelter.  These people exude the most unassuming and beautiful aura of love that you will ever experience anywhere…..

They ranged in age from 16 to over 100 I am sure!  Most didn’t know what their conditions were, some didn’t even know their names or how they got there, but they all look out for one another, and their life is all they know.  They appear to have no expectations, and their gratitude was felt deep within my soul.

As I walked around the shelter, I was greeted by many happy faces.  Lon was a lady I connected with straight away.  I had my camera clicking away, and it was apparent that there were some that were born to be in front of the camera!! It was interesting, an quite an intense connection when I realized how we are lead to certain moments in our life.

During our trip in Vietnam, Rubes had decided that she had a new way to pose for photographs which involved a hand signal and a funny face.  This was what most of her photo’s looked like during our trip….

And then as if out of nowhere, this gorgeous lady appears, and I point my lens towards her and this is what she does….

And as I look at her beautiful hands, I realize that she too, like my Ruby, has Down Syndrome.  I felt such a sense of connection with this lady, and it made me laugh when she pulled this pose.  It was as if Ruby was with me, telling me that I was in the right place, at the right time.

The shelter is very basic, and possessions are next to none.  Our boxes of crayons brought shrieks of joy, and a deep sense of calm as we laid out some plastic sheets to gather and color on.  You could sense that most of the patients were in a meditative state as they colored.  It was such a beautiful energy to be around, and not even the slightest bit of fear could have entered my being even if it tried.  The power of gratitude is strong…..

But probably the most touching and heart warming experience came in that box of chocolates, right on the bottom row where you least expect to find it…

In the corner, peaking out from one of the rooms I spot a beautiful elderly lady all dressed in red woolies.  In her eyes I see a sense of desperation as she looks on to the younger bodies that fill the floor with their eyes fixated in their world of color and their intense desire to create and express through color.

I walk over to her, and the only way I know how to connect is to give her a hug…..and then I feel compelled to give her a kiss.  I cannot describe to you the wave of emotion that overtook me as she started to cry the minute I made contact with her.

I realized very quickly that her emotions were due to the fact that it was likely that no one had showed her any interest, and especially not of the physical kind in a very long time. The human connection was intense, and I immediately smiled and helped her to get down on the ground where I could show her the coloring books.  It was amazing to see when I handed her the crayons that she was beside herself not knowing what to do, and me not knowing if she had ever had this experience, or was it just that it was so long ago she was able to express herself in any way at all?

I quickly showed her how to color, and watched in amazement as, she began to color as if for the first time…

It was beautiful, and the kind of experience that reminds you how fragile and pure life is.  We begin and end our journey in a vulnerable state, and never know what life will bring us.  When we asked this lady’s name, she could not remember.  She had no idea where she came from, or why she was even there.  It was through the simple act of putting color to paper that she was able to connect, and her message was heard loud and clear.

It’s true that life is like a box of chocolates……some are oozing with caramel goodness, sticky fruit fillings, and the crunch of roasted nuts, while others are filled with surprises that are bitter, overly sweet, or full of sickly jellies that make our stomachs turn.

We are given so much in this life.  I hear so many people say that they wish they had time to volunteer, or that they wish they could find a charity where they knew the money was going to make it’s way there.

My message to you is this….

Don’t wait to make a difference in someone else’s life.  You can light up someone’s darkness by the simplest act of kindness.  When you travel, LOOK for opportunities to give back. The internet is a resource brimming with ideas and cries for help from those who really need it.  Set your intent to help, put it out there, and it will come together.  Ask yourself “How can I make a difference?” and the opportunities will come.

My inspiration came from a friend who had collected money for her birthday the previous year.  I followed that inspiration, and although my plan didn’t turn out exactly as I expected (as I thought the money would help a different organization), it brought me to exactly where I needed to be.  I am not a saint by any means, and neither are you….BUT we can make a difference in our neighborhoods, communities, in our schools, and on our holidays.

We CAN make a difference in the simplest way if we try.

Thank you so, so much to the people that donated money for this great cause.  The main purchase has been a wheelchair to replace the chair pictured below, which was a makeshift chair made out of a plastic garden chair!

Please take a minute to look at Karen’s amazing organization called Lifestart which helps people with disabilities to become self sufficient.  She has some amazing products on offer, as well as some amazing tours if you are heading to Vietnam.  You can also donate through her site, or purchase some products to help give back.

Forrest’s Mama was right when she said “Life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get…”, but I believe it’s not what you get, but what you do with that goodness when you receive it that counts.

Visit http://www.lifestartfoundation.org.au to volunteer, purchase online gifts, book a tour, donate, or find out more about this amazing organization.

Sowing the Seeds of LOVE

It seems that every time I sit down to blog lately, my head starts to spin.

When we lived in New Zealand, blogging was like breathing to me, and I seemed to have plenty of time and inspiration to sit down and put pen to paper.  Since moving back to Dubai, I have been swept away in the tsunami of hustle and bustle that makes this city tick.

Admittedly, I have calmed down a lot since we lived here last, but with settling back in,  trying to sort out the schooling issues with Ruby, launching my first book, celebrating my 40th in the Maldives, and traveling to Ethiopia, it’s been a little bit crazy to say the least!

While I miss some aspects of New Zealand, I truly feel at home in the desert, and my heart sings knowing that I am planted where I am truly meant to be.  New Zealand will always be a very special part of my life, and I will never forget the profound changes I experienced there, and the pure and utter beauty that I felt in my heart from being able to take the time to “stand still” in the pristine beauty that surrounded me.

As I sit here on the 24th of December with a belly full of turkey, and 3 little munchkins tucked up in their beds, I feel a deep sense of peace in knowing that this year has brought us many great challenges, and many blessings.

There have been many times this year that I have questioned just exactly what it is I am doing, and where I am going.  I have questioned who I am, and whether or not I am the same person that I was when I left a few years back.  And while the answer to that is a clear “no”, I find it easier to just drift in the moment, and let it define the “who”, the “what”, and the “where” of my everyday life.

I have been really excited about the new energy that is emerging around us with the end of the Mayan calendar.  I have been eager to feel it enter, almost more than my children wanting to see their Christmas tree laden with presents, I wanted to personally feel this new wave of LOVE that is meant to wash over us.

And so, the 21st came, and rather than feeling a wave of love, I was hit hard with a sea of chaos!  James and I were arguing, the kids were throwing tantrums, and everyone around me seemed very unsettled.  Not exactly what I had in mind!!

There has been an uneasiness in the air, and I know that there are many of you out there that felt it too. For me, that’s the time I need to break out of the comfort zone and get out and connect with nature before I completely lose my mind!

I decided recently that we needed a little piece of NZ here in Dubai with us as we have been missing our veggie garden!  Enter Hayley from Be Supernatural, Dubai’s gardening and all things that are natural and healthy guru, and soon enough, we were planting seeds to bring some life to our front garden!

I went to the local plant market and got a few plants to get me started….

Then Hayley came over and away we went!  The timing felt so right….there we were planting new seeds, for a new garden that will hopefully help to nourish my family and give us the sense that we are contributing to a healthier planet. I want my girls to know everything there is to know about being able to provide fresh food for themselves and their families in the future, and there is no simpler and greater gift than planting a simple garden to get things going!

Being able to share Hayley’s knowledge was amazing.  In New Zealand, it is very easy to grow just about anything.  Here in Dubai, it is a completely different story with a lower quality of soil, searing temperatures, and little rain.  Hayley has the experience of knowing how to plan your garden to get the most out of the Dubai climate.  She drew up a plan, which I can now duplicate once it comes time to replant everything.  You can tell that Hayley is super passionate about what she does, and I highly recommend using her services if you are interested in getting a healthy veggie patch growing (with a lot more than just tomatoes and herbs!) here in Dubai!

Of course I also had some help from one of my own little garden fairies…..

And if planting our home garden wasn’t enough to ground me, then it was off to the magic and beauty of the desert to mark the occasion of “new beginnings”.  What better place to feel alive and free? To feel at peace, and to throw all your cares to the wind and just let yourself go?

I had a vision some time ago about planting a tree in the desert.  I know it sounds crazy, but if we are to be living in a world of infinite possibilities and to live outside the norm of everyday life, then doesn’t it stand to reason that there might just be room for a bit of magic in our lives?  Isn’t it possible that with a bit of love and good intention that anything can grow even in the starkest surroundings?

Let’s hope so!!

What I can say for sure is that it became very apparent to me that we need very little in life to be happy……….

With nothing more than miles of sand,

a few random trees,

the warm sun on our backs,

Stu on the BBQ,

and the beautiful company of great friends,

there is really nothing more that I could have asked for to bring me that energy of peace, love, and harmony that I so knew was possible.  The key is that, in order to find it, I needed to just breathe and take a step back, and get back to basics.  That always seems to work for me.

Take a breath, slow down, and inhale the simple beauty that surrounds me every day if I take a minute to see it.

Can you see how much magic there is in simplicity?

And as for that tree, we planted it that day.  Took our spades, found a shady haven under another tree, and planted that tree, with hopes that with a little love and magic, it will thrive in the heat of the desert.

With LOVE and good intention, ANYTHING is possible…….

Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful families, wherever you may be in the world today!!

Are You Hungry?

I’ve done it…..

I can’t believe it.

I AM an author.  A published one at that!  This is something I have dreamed about for a very long time but never had the courage of the belief in myself to share my gift with the world!

Today I launched “Hungry-Feed Your Soul”, a photographic essay highlighting the power of simplicity and love.  Hungry was a work in progress for some time.  I started with the concept as I shot many of my images, not knowing exactly how they would piece together or even if they would fit into my story.

I then kept telling myself that there just wasn’t enough time to write a book.  It would take AGES to complete, and I wasn’t sure I had the patience for it.

Then I had an idea…..well, more than one idea!! The more I cleared my energy space, the more clarity I gained on how I was going to achieve my dream of publishing my first book.  Check out the book HERE.

I started tapping out little “Nektarisms” on my iPhone during my long walks through the bush in NZ.  It was only here that I was able to fully clear my brain and get some clarity with my thoughts.  I never knew how they would piece together, but somehow I had faith and trust that I would be shown the way.

“Hungry” is the result of a selection of over 29,000 images, and numerous “Nektarisms” combined to create a little book of inspiration which I hope that people will resonate with.

The basis of the book is all about “love in the little things” and taking the time to draw into the moment and appreciate all the finer details in life.  There is beauty in our everyday life that is not always apparent when we don’t allow ourselves the time to “flow” in the moment.

As I have been writing this blog for over 2 years, I would like to offer my blog followers a special gift of a FREE digital copy of my book. The book retails on iTunes for $11.99 USD, and on Blurb.com for the same amount.  If you would like to take advantage of this beautiful free gift to you, then please email me at connect@nektar.ae and I will forward a copy to you in gratitude for your support in this blog over the past few years!

In return, if you are keen (I do not expect anything at all!), if you could review the book preview, or get a copy from me, and write a quick review on the following pages if possible;

Hungry

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hungry-stephanie-hamilton/1113507538?ean=9781937862268

This will help my book to get some traction and visibility!

Thank you so much once again for your support.  It is such an amazing feeling to think that someone, somewhere around the world is interested in my book!

MY book….yeah, that’s right…..my book!!

OH happy day!!!

10 Reasons You Should Visit Ethiopia Now

It’s taken me a while to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard rather!) since returning from an amazing experience with 6 incredible women in Ethiopia!

As soon as I got back, I downloaded the smorgasbord of memories from my trusty Canon onto the computer and started editing.  There were some 1700 odd photo’s, and I managed to whittle them down to around 560 of the best.  As I sorted through the incredible images that I was lucky enough to be present in the moment to experience, incredible waves of emotion overcame me.

As I put myself behind the lens, it was almost as if I was sitting in the Gold Class section of the movies, experiencing the most incredible movie set I’ve ever seen.

As the months passed, and excitement grew around our upcoming trip, the reactions of friends and acquaintances were interesting when we announced that we were heading off to Ethiopia on a girl’s trip.

There were a lot of people that were surprised that we even considered Ethiopia as a chick’s getaway destination.  Lots of “Why would you go to Ethiopia?”, and “Really?  Ehtiopia for a girl’s trip?” as they envisioned white sandy beaches, endless streams of cocktails, and shop till you drop getaways that usually are the norm.

But let me tell you…..this was no ordinary group of ladies.  To be as close as we were, with the amount of driving we endured to get to the real heart and gem of Ehtiopia, it was incredibly surprising and amazing that we all gelled as well as we did.

Our tour guide, Pam, who is a New Zealander who has lived in Ethiopia for the past 7 years summed it up nicely when she said “I have learned while living here that nothing is ever what it seems”.  There couldn’t be a better quote to sum up the trip as a whole.

In fact, I would go as far as to say that this visit far exceeded any of my expectations.  I have been to Africa before, and knew the trip would be incredible, but there was something quite spectacular about this country that is hard to put into words.

I can only share with you some of the images that I experienced, and would probably admit it’s not for everyone (don’t go if you don’t like friendly people, luscious landscapes, and incredible opportunities to see the most amazing things), but here’s why I think you should visit Ethiopia now…..

1. This country is LUSH baby…….

Remember all those images from the 80′s where you saw barren land, dirt, dust, and more dirt, and not a plant in sight?  That’s not the Ethiopia I experienced! Sure, there are parts where it is dusty, and dirty, (like down in the Hamer tribe), but you will be hard pressed not to find the lush greenery that we all had the pleasure of experiencing every day (after living in Dubai, which is more barren than Ethiopia I might add, we were loving it!).

2. You feel like you’ve gone back in time….but in a good way.

From vintage soda bottles, to the contrasts of old meets new (not everyone can afford a car, and most people travel around the old fashioned way….donkey style!!).

3. The food is incredible, vibrant, colorful, and healthy!

The local layered fruit drinks called Spritz, a bit of an addiction!No condiments out of jars here….a hot spicy dip crushed by two rocks, and the skillful hands of our lovely host!  The end result, amazing!

For the meat lovers, there were beautiful sauces and gravies that were all made fresh, and smelled delish!

4.  If you love coffee, or chai (beautiful tea with a spicy aroma), then this is the place for you.

The lush red berries of the coffee plant.

We were incredibly lucky to experience a coffee ceremony with the Hamer Tribe in the south of Ethiopia.  This is an honor, and not a regular occurrence.  Definitely one of the highlights of our trip!The chai, or spiced tea was amazing.  Nice warm feeling in the belly!

5. People watching takes on a whole new meaning….

How cool is this? A member of the Hamer Tribe out on the town….girly hair clips in the fringe, and a Casio watch strap for status around the neck.  Awesome…..

6.  The energy is palpable, yet filled with love and peace.  There is rhythm at every turn.

These kids were on the side of the road after we left the Hamer Tribe, which they are a part of.  They had covered themselves in ceremonial dress (painting their skin with mud in tribal designs!) hoping to catch some tourists wanting to pay for their photo, which we did!

7. Color, color, and more color!

8. There are some fabulous handicrafts to support the local economy!

Roadside shopping is how we roll!

The most amazing hand woven products!  Soft cotton from the fields of Ethiopia, mixed with bright colors, the blankets, scarves, and rugs were all stunning.

9.  Beautiful children!!!

It was hard not to take a good photo of these beautiful children.  The thing that struck me the most was their eyes.  So pure and sincere….

10.  The feel good factor you get from the many opportunities you get to give back, up close and personal (where you know the donations are going directly to where they’re needed).

We were fortunate enough to be able to take nearly 200kgs of goods over on the plane to distribute to those who needed it.  Very humbling….and well received!

Being able to connect with these kids really was the ultimate highlight of our trip.  Their eyes lit up like it was Christmas day, even for the simplest gifts….

The other way we were able to give while we were there, was to bring donations of material for The Catherine Hamlin Fistula Hospital in Addis Ababa.  Some of you may have heard of this amazing lady and what she has done for the women of Ethiopia, as Dr. Hamlin has been widely featured on many documentaries and programs (including Oprah) for her amazing service.  If you don’t know what a fistula is, please take a moment to read about it here.  With the education that is provided by this great centre, women are educated who come from remote areas to start walking to the hospital (some of these women walk for months to get here!) when they feel their baby kicking (this happens often with women who have been previously treated at the hospital with their previous children)!!  The treatment is free, and the only payment asked of the women is that they spread the word to other women from their area/tribe, and that they make sure they return to the hospital for subsequent childbirths.

We were incredibly honored to be able to meet Dr. Hamlin as she did the rounds.  It was unbelievable to think she still operates on patients (and with perfect eyesight!) at the age of 88!!  She had an incredible energy and aura surrounding her, and was the vision of an angel.

When the women leave the hospital, they are given a dress, and this is where our material, zips, and buttons came into play.  The ladies who sew the dresses were more than thrilled with their new selection of material to create some lovely dresses for these amazing women!

Ethiopia is one of the most enriching experiences I have had the privilege of being part of.  I highly recommend if you get the chance, that it’s a destination not to be missed!

If you are interested in going, there is only one tour guide that can give you the type of experience we had, and that is Pamela Robbie from Destination Ethiopia.  Her expertise and passion, along with her team of experienced and friendly guides are second to none.

Pam can be contacted at destinationethiopiatours@gmail.com .